Shack Notes: Moments While at a Writing Retreat" (Satsvarūpa Dāsa Gosvāmī)

Shack Notes: Moments While at a Writing Retreat (Satsvarūpa Dāsa Gosvāmī)

Some extracts

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p.32
A devotee repeats the message of Krsna in his own words. Srila Prabhupada was strong on the need for realization. He did not encourage us to speak like parrots. A parrot can be taught to repeat the Hare Krsna mantra, but when it is being choked, it only squawks. Our utterance of Hare Krsna mantra should be made with personal conviction, but should be parrot-like in the same manner that Sukadeva Gosvami was parrot-like—he added sweetness to the mango of Vedic knowledge he had received from his father.
"Know, O thoughtful men, that Srimad-Bhagavatam is the mature fruit of the tree of Vedic literature. It emanated from the lips of Sukadeva Gosvami. Therefore, this nectarean fruit is all the more relishable for liberated souls" (Bhag. 1.1.3).
Srila Prabhupada: "Srila Sukadeva Gosvami describes the Bhagavatam from its very beginning and not whimsically to satisfy the mundaner who has very little knowledge in transcendent science."
So where is my "last piece sobriety"?
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p.34
My contention is that the life of a struggling devotee is worth hearing about by other devotees.
Some devotees, however, think this is whimsical. They want to read only perfect truth.
I agree that we must speak the truths of Srlmad-Bhagavatam, and that we should sweeten them with our realizations. But there must be time for devotees to speak heart to heart, even to expose their misgivings. We must be compassionate toward fellow devotees, and should desire to hear from them in this way. We should find our own confidential friends who will hear from us. We will get real strength from these confidential exchanges. The Absolute Truth is perfect; we are not. Our not being perfect is of importance to us. Therefore, it is neither whimsical nor taboo to discuss these topics.
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p.37
Prabhupada tells us that "philosophy means to keep death in your front."
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p.40
'Devotees need to heal themselves; they need to heal as communities and in their friendships. It is essential work and falls within the purificatory process known as Krsna conscious self-realization.
Not all devotees agree. Some devotees shy away from open friendships. They want to keep their relationships strictly in terms of devotional duties and speak only of perfect Vedic teachings.
But speaking personally to each other can include discussion of our inadequacies. It is not just "dwelling on the problems." Our problems can only be solved by the application of chanting and hearing, but even our own chanting and hearing can be helped along by being able to reveal in confidence the truth about our inabilities to chant and hear properly. This is part of inner life.
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p.42
"Descriptions of the Lord are the right medicine for the conditioned soul undergoing repeated birth and death. Therefore, who will cease hearing such glorification of the Lord except a butcher or one who is killing his own self?" (Bhag. 10.1.4).
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p.43
Religion could be crutch for some, he said. One joins the movement and takes shelter in a perfect philosophy and thinks, "Now I don't have to improve myself. I have a perfect philosophy to explain everything."
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p.47
Although there are different levels of (musical) praise, it seems to require inner peace to both speak it and offer it. If there is too much pain and confusion, then it remains on the level of "humanistic" music - it evokes empathy in the listener, but does not draw either musician or listener into the transcendental realm. Praise is a religious experience.
p.48
Glories to the best song-praises made by those who know Krsna in His intimate feature in Goloka. These praises describe His yellow garments, His flute playing, His consort Radharani, His parents, and the boys who run with Krsna. These are the best songs of praise.
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p.70
Regarding Krsna book chapter entitled, "The Bewildering of Lord Brahma.":
Bhaktivinoda Thakura analyzes the anartha represented by Brahma in the "brahma-vimohana-lila," as cultivation of karma and jnana, "which ultimately leads to a skeptical mentality." There it is again:
-karma causes skepticism because one thinks he is better than a simple bhakta by virtue of his money or political position, his prestige. And
-a jnani thinks he can spend his life in speculation and thus know more than a vrajavasi.
Bhaktivinoda Thakura goes on to say, "The pastime also reflects the offense of disrespecting the Lord's superior quality of transcendental sweetness (madhurya) in favor of His inferior majestic opulences (aisvarya)." Lord Brahma does not appreciate the sweetness of little Krsna enjoying lunch with His friends. This is my problem also when I doubt Krsna's Yamuna pastimes. To prefer majestic Godhead is ultimately an offense. Brahma will be rectified, and I hope to be rectified too. We have to be willing to go through the process of hearing these pastimes with depth and emotional participation. That is part of the rectification process.
Do not commit the offense of favoring the majesty over the sweetness.
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p77
Love of God takes the form of lust in the material realm. The cleansing process is the chanting and hearing of the name, form, teachings and pastimes of the Supreme Lord. Just apply yourself to bhakti and all contamination will be washed away. Extracounselling and discussion is only needed by "dysfunctional" persons, or by those who think they are dysfunctional. Only those persons who cannot obey the command, "Chant and don't worry" need special attention. And who is not in that category?
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p.95
A devotee has to be constantly filling up on nectar and instructions, or he dries up like a flower in the desert. Heis left only with "old" instructions, things he may have lost touch with by the passage of time.
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p.98
There is something very wonderful in trying to let go, in trying to quiet myself so Krsna can come forward. I am not saying it so clearly, but I think you know what I mean. I have allowed myself to become congested in spirit, insipid, and afraid over the years. To acknowledge that and let those parts of myself go is a blessing.
This is an exercise in Krsna conscious abandon, meant for one who doesn't know how to act with abandon in Krsna consciousness. I worry too much what others think of me. Now my whole life is running out. Will I discover that I never lived it for myself—and that Krsna expected me to live it to the full limit of self-surrender?
This is an exercise for one who confuses the body with the self. The body grows old and does not dance so nimbly anymore, but the self is as sportive as a new calf in spring grass.
This is an exercise for one who confuses the mind with the spirit, whose mind has taken ultimate authority and doesn't know the soul's simple realm.
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p.100
'Without relishing some sort of mellow or loving mood in one's activities, no one can continue to perform such activities. Similarly, in the transcendental life of Krsna consciousness and devotional service, there must be some mellow, or specific taste, from the service. Generally, this mellow is experienced by chanting, hearing, worshiping in the temple, and being engaged in the service of the Lord. So, when a person feels transcendental bliss, that is called 'relishing the mellow'" (Nectar of Devotion, p. 152).
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p.102
Once you start thinking about the wonder of things, then the Vedic explanations make good sense. They accommodate the fact that existence is wonderful, acintya. They explain it all within a context of ultimate knowledge. It solves all bewilderment. I can look at a tree and accept the Vedic conclusion—a tree is a soul with very low consciousness, with a thick, heavy bodily covering, waiting out its karma.
You can chant to the trees and they will benefit.
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p.109
You can't stop being "I" and speaking of "I."
-"I am a tiny servant of the Lord."
-"I only want Your causeless devotional service in my life, birth after birth."
-"Never was there a time when you did not exist."
Self-annihilation is not possible.
Spiritual suicide refers to separating yourself from Krsna, but still you exist.
So be Krsna-centered.
Be a speck of dust orbiting around the sun.
We should be happy in our tiny servant's capacity. We must swallow our pride. We must pray tobe successful at this. We should do whatever isnecessary to die to the false self.
Do as much as you can, and then give the credit to Krsna. He is the ability in man, in us. Srimad-Bhagavatam tells us that only uninterrupted, unmotivated devotional service will bring satisfaction to the self (yayatmasuprasldati).
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p.114
In 1966, Srila Prabhupada lectured repeatedly on "dovetailing your consciousness with the Supreme consciousness." Whatever you are doing, he said, whether you are a musician or artist or businessman or householder or student—do it for Krsna. Krsna consciousness is not difficult. Do what you are doing, but do it for Krsna.
Even raja-creation can be purified. It must be purified. It cannot be repressed. So the critic is working against our best efforts when he tries to punch the creator into submission or tries to utterly destroy him. I have a creative drive. It is normal to have a creative drive. And Srila Prabhupada said to the passionate American disciples, "Do something wonderful."
Dovetailing is a principle that must be firmly established as a fact of devotional life. We should preach it to ourselves. Why should this make us feel dejected or impure? Do you feel joy in writing freely? Then, dovetail that in the service of the Supreme.
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p.129
I am afraid of many things. Fear is material. It is the most prominent of the four animal propensities.
-The things I dream of—tigers, losing my I.D., becoming lost—perhaps they will never happen.
-The fears I consider—being thrown into jail, a sex fall-down, torture by bullies, fear of losing my reputation—these things also may never happen.
-And when what I fear does take place, the fear itself is often the worst part.
The remedy for fear:
-If the circumstance is not too bad, breathe deeply and chant Hare Krsna.
-If it is really bad, then chant Hare Krsna within and without.
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p.130
I have not bothered to notice the gorgeous, green, deep forest, and the shades and lights filter
ing all over in speckles and particles—falling beauty all around. I sit in the midst of a heavenly place. Note it and thank the creator. The secondary creator was inspired by the Primary Creator to create this world based on the beauty of the spiritual world. Thank them and praise their work even as it appears in this reflected earth world. Leaves rustling, treetops in swaying motions. It is almost time to go back up again to hear Krsna book.
Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare/
Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.
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p.134
Prabhupada, You told me oncethat preaching to devotees was more important than preaching to nondevotees. You meant we have to train the people we have. That was in '72, and you were stressing that we should sit and hear Srlmad-Bhagavatam class. We still need that stressed
for us, and now we also need care and decent human exchanges. We, as a movement, may have neglected your compassionate side. I mean, we haven't developed it among ourselves.
We criticize each other. I criticize someone as too strict, and he criticizes me as too loose.
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p.135
The preacher has to be careful in what he is doing. He cannot become overwhelmed by the
chaos of lost souls who clamor for their needs in the world, and who sometimes devour "do-gooders." Also, he has to give the right medicine and shelter. He has to protect himself from drunkards and exploiters, or he too will be lost.
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p.136
Krsna consciousness is nice because you get to chant on your beads when you go for a walk.
No one else knows that.
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p.137
Want to make sense of this place we live in. The explanation given to us by sastra is clear
enough—it is all maya, the three modes combined. The longing to live and enjoy is our original love, but it is covered by illusion now.
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p.143
Listening to Srila Prabhupada lecture on Caitanya-caritamrta. I doubt I can get more intimate than that. He said, "Chant Hare Krsna mantra wherever you are in the world, and keep a picture of Lord Caitanya dancing, as we have here in our window."
He asked the audience to figure out the mathematics of "four thousand, three hundred plus eight zeroes." So many Manus in a day of Brahma, and the whole life of Brahma lasts the time it takes Maha-Visnu to exhale and inhale once.
Because of Prabhupada, I am living the way I am, grateful for his all-round protection.
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p.157
Being too insistent for peak expression leads nondevotees to stimulants like liquor and
drugs, something to give them "inspiration." I would never do that of course, but in a subtle way, I might become restless to the point of inventing inspiration, or I might try to push myself against immovable forces. Lao-tzu said, "Notice the natural order of things. Work with it rather than against it, for to try to change what is so will only set up resistance." Relax.
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p.162
I speak of the Lord as He appears in my mind. But His presence seems faint there, so I turn to the Vaisnava acaryas. I must convince my mind to be submissive and receive Krsna consciousness in full force from the poetry and prayer of scripture. The mind can be the best friend in this endeavor, or it can be the worst enemy. Writing can be a way to train the mind. One can write down slokas that absorb the mind. When the mind demands something more, one can either ignore it, or express the problem in writing and seek the solution—"My dear mind, why are you not a Vaisnava?"
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p.163
If we chant Hare Krsna, then Krsna, the Holy Presence, will be present on our tongues. Let us
chant always, you and I. It is the only way to escape the demands of the world—the mental influence, the life threats, the constant disturbances. We are preoccupied with struggling for survival, but chanting helps us through to the more important goal.
Anxiety arises when we work hard to stave off material miseries, something we can never
achieve. Therefore, the sages advise us to keep our lives and efforts simple, reduce pain in that way, and take to chanting and hearing as the only recourse. Never say, "I am too busy," or, "I have no taste"—just chant.
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p.169
Today we heard (in the Krsna book) about
-Balarama's killing of the Pralambha demon and
-Krsna's pastime of swallowing the forest fire.
Bhaktivinoda Thakura compares
-the forest fire to the antagonistic or atheistic philosophies that disrupt religious people. And
- Pralamba is a symbol of sexual lust
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p.179
As far as I can see, there is great value in fulfilling your inner desires andmaking something strong and beautiful for Krsna's service.
p.180
Baladeva wrote me a humorous note, comparing me to a person in a jail cell with bars made of four regulations, sixteen rounds, Krsna book and Prabhupada's instructions. I cannot get away; I cannot get beyond these "boundaries."
p.181
Emptiness void of love. When we look within, we see pictures from television, billboards, material stuff. We don't see Krsna, and it makes us sorry. But we go on serving anyway.
p.181.
What can I understand about love for Krsna? My storehouse of affection is empty. I have nothing to offer. My love has been stolen by the rats of
-bad association and rapacious material desires,
-by speculation,
-by skepticism.
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p.185
I want to praise Krsna,
not speak a private language
like Gary Snyder.
But he has true feelings sometimes,
what about you?
What is your equivalent of his, "Four Poems for Robin"?
There is no equivalent.
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p.187
Someone says, "I heard that if you are attached to creating something nice for Krsna, this will bar you from entrance to Goloka. Creators stay in the material world because they are fascinated by their God-given power. If they are pious, they offer their works to Krsna, but it is rajo-guna."
But can't you create in pure spirit? Is there not creative play in the offerings to Krsna in the spiritual world? Yes, there is. That is the meaning of spontaneous in contrast to regulative. The creativity of the gopis is different from the creativity of rajo-guna. Vrnda-devi creates an arrangement for Radha and Krsna to enjoy. The spark of creativity is used to make something pleasing to the Lord—something for the Lord's enjoyment.
There is a bhakti school of pure creativity. Artists are not banned from Goloka. Geniuses
serve Him
-Madhumahgala creates jokes,
-Radha creates hundreds of bewildering situations to please Krsna.
-Everyone is thinking how to please Him.
But it is not the feverish, artistic madness that drives people to alcohol and cigarettes and suicide, as in the material world.
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p.191
Srila Prabhupada told us that he didn't create our Krsna consciousness: it was our eternal nature. He invoked it. But I was so totally covered over—I have to say that the invoker created my good fortune. What good is dormant spiritual nature if you remain unholy and confused? You bang your head against the walls, bang around writing unhappy books, reading unhappy mentors like Kafka, with friends who cannot love you as you need to be loved, who cannot respect you—and then you roll off the edge. But by Prabhupada's grace, that didn't happen. He has invoked my spirit soul. Now I can sense holiness in my life, purity in the food I eat, and obedience to the teachings of the Vedas.
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p.208
'Kama-raya and I read from the Krsna book. Afterwards, we talked about whether a devotee
who still has material desire in his heart can appreciate at all the pastimes of Krsna and the gopis. We are assured by Prabhupada that any krsna-lila he gives us is the "right medicine." But I admitted that when we were talking about the parents' concern for baby Krsna, we all felt freer to empathize with the parents and to imagine Krsna's antics and the village situation. Similarly, we felt even more access to the gopas pastimes and we related our own boyhood adventures and tried to see how they exist in pure, original friendship with Gopa-kumara. But the love affairs of Krsna and the cowherd girls of His village evoke a conflicting emotion.
Sometimes it is less difficult. I did hear (before dozing) how the gopis ate unspiced kitri for a month while performing a vrata for goddess Katyayani. They wanted to attain Krsna as their husband. I thought, "I would like to eat unspiced kitri for a month like those gopis—with attraction to Krsna as the goal." And I got a tiny glimpse into the simplicity of their worship. They did not fast completely like yogis would have; they simply restricted themselves to unspiced kitri. But their austerity was more potent than any yogi's.
p.209
So there is some access to these pastimes. One doesn't have to pretend to "be" a gopi, which is a dangerous folly. Neither does one have to be completely free of all vestiges of material desire—on the liberated stage—in order to feel some love and attraction for the true stories of Krsna with the gopis.
Thus Srila Prabhupada informs us later in Krsna book, that hearing of Krsna and the gopls will in fact replace our lust with love.
p.213
The wives of the brahmanas requested to Krsna that He let them stay always in His direct association. Lord Krsna was very pleased with them, but asked them to continue their religious duties as wives of brahmanas. It would be better for their Krsna consciousness if they left Krsna's presence in the forest and instead, always thought of Him while prosecuting their duties in the world.
That is the best for some devotees; Krsna knows best.
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p.215
Srila Prabhupada writes, "When Krsna entered into the wives' hearts and when they embraced
him and felt the transcendental bliss of being merged with Him, the Supreme Lord Krsna did not lose His identity, nor did the wives lose theirs . . .
When a lover submits to his lover without any pinch of personal consideration, that is called oneness" (Krsna, p. 204).
We discussed this oneness. It is the long-desired freedom from false ego. At last, the self-centered concept vanishes. You love Krsna, and the old self is gone.
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p.217
Just as psychological treatment for a devotee can degrade into "too much attention to relative problems," so the "all-spiritual approach to devotional service" can become imper
sonal and mechanical.
p.220
"Scripture is the "breathing of Lord Narayana."  Works written in pursuance of the Vedic literatures are also smrti. Smrti is like hearing your sister repeat and enlarge upon what your mother has said.
p.221
"Krsne ratih krsne matih: "May you love Krsna, may you think of Krsna" (Caitanya-candrodaya, Act 6, verse 116).
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p.227
Maybe I have neglected the importance of japa while putting attention into my writing. I didn't
want to broach this subject, but now I am glad I brought it out in the open. I know devotees sacrifice attention on japa for other duties in the sanklrtana movement. We justify it by saying, "This is an emergency time. It is not an age for babajts. Work now, and later we can chant." This attitude can easily get out of hand. Let's look at the "worst scenario": I say I am beating a drum, the brhat-mrdanga. Srila Prabhupada told us that writing is that big drum. But japa is my
spiritual heartbeat. If I develop palpitations of the heart or heart failure, I am finished. Do I want to come back next life as a materialistic talented writer who has to go through hell until he is forty years old and then join the Hare Krsna movement? Then again, do I really have to choose between the pen and my japa-mald? The great acaryas like Rupa Gosvami, Sanatana Gosvami, Jiva Gosvami, and Srila Prabhupada used both. I just have to keep everything balanced and do both in the mood of a servant. And I have to give prime mind-time to the holy name.
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p.236
At least I have discovered that the mind's function is to make me miserable.
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As we grow older in Krsna consciousness and see that we have to sustain our spiritual lives for an entire lifetime, it becomes more important to be satisfied. When we were younger, we thought satisfaction was sense gratification, something to be renounced. Of course, the scriptures tell us that spiritual satisfaction is the only true satisfaction. Itcomes from satisfying the Supreme Self, Lord Hari, Krsna. But as neophytes, we think we are not quali
fied to experience that bliss, and, therefore, we renounce it. We perform our services for our spiritual master, and we are satisfied if he is pleased with us. But our guru wants us to be personally satisfied also. He knows we cannot work nicely unless we are.
There is a strong aspect of renunciation within spiritual satisfaction. Srila Prabhupada said that one should accept whatever comes without much striving, and be satisfied with it. As soon as you want more materially, then you become dissatisfied. The quest for attaining devotional service should also generate a kind of dissatisfaction. We become painfully aware of our anarthas, our lack of love, our apparent lack of progress. That can be healthy. But this dissatisfaction does not counteract the need we have for personal satisfaction. We have to feel satisfied in our ordinary routines, our devotional observances, our chanting, serving, preaching, worshiping the Deity, our living with devotees. If we are not satisfied with our lives in devotional service, how can we go on? We are pleasure-seeking beings (ananda-maya) by nature. If we don't find pleasure now in our spiritual routines, we will eventually reach out and seek pleasure in the material world.
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p.248
Rama-raya read Indra's prayers to Krsna. Indra was sorry he had been so puffed-up as to minimize Krsna. My doubts seemed to be addresssed on all sides by the powerful presentation of Krsna book.
I remember a devotee once wrote to Srila Prabhupada saying she was having trouble believing in the Krsna stories. Srila Prabhupada recommended more hearing ofKrsna book. We may advise new comers not to read Krsna book but to stick to Bhagavad-gita if they have a problem with the "far-out" stories, but for initiated devotees, "descriptions of the Lord are the right medicine for the conditioned souls undergoing repeated birth and death. Therefore, who will cease hearing such glorification of the Lord except a butcher or one who is killing his own self?" (Bhdg. 10.1.4). When we are doubtful w ecan pray for faith, "Krsna, please give me the knowledge to understand." Armed with yoga, stand and fight.
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p.255-256
You have to go on your own in this life. That's all there is to it. One letter said, "The well wishes of devotees are of utmost importance to me," and I agree. Still, you have to go alone. For example, when you walk into a temple, maybe an ancient shrine while on pilgrimage, even if you are with a group of devotees, you enter alone. Something has to touch you; you are not a group, you are a person. When you bow down and make your prayer, your chest and legs and head touch the stone floor. You have to face your own attitudes toward the Deity, toward the monkeys and rats, not someone else's.
Face your aloneness, and then if you can, find and develop friendship with a devotee who can accept you with your little idiosyncrasies, someone you can also accept despite their quirks. Have mutual respect for each other. If you can pray together, then you have a good friend. (Iknow there ismore to it than that.)
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p.257
Ramaraya keeps repeating how we have to earn that knowledge by service. Yogamaya manifests only to those devotees who please the Lord and the spiritual master. If one insists on knowing the spiritual world without proper qualifications, one will only see a mahamaya version of Krsna's pastimes.
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p.258
It seems almost urgent that we tell people about the highest manifestation of God. Sometimes one meets people who perform real austerity in their at tempts to understand God, but they do not know the topmost form of the Lord, the Divine Lover. They do not know the extent of His activities, and they do not know how they can personally participate in them. Prabhupada calls this, "The nectar for which we are always anxious"— union with God.
It is not possible for anyone to know what God looks like, but it is natural that everyone wants to know. God's appearance is a great open secret, but as Krsna says, "I am the silence of secret things."
This secret has to be introduced into world ecu menical exchange very carefully. First, the world has to accept personalism. If they continue to say, "I think God is beyond personal and impersonal," then it becomes hard to go further and describe Krsna's personal features. It has to done from the beginning.
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p.260
Bhaktivinoda Thakura comments on the anartha represented by the pastime of Varuna arresting Nanda. He says, "By this pastime, Krsna rectifies the misconception that the bliss of Bhagavan is in creased by drinking wine or indulging in other kinds of intoxicants." Beware. You cannot see Krsna by artificial stimulations. Keep a patient and lowly position, and Krsna will reveal things as He likes.
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p.261
Take the Lord's holy names, and admit defeat. I cannot do it, I cannot do it, I cannot do it. O Holy Name , still You allow me to say the words, and I am grateful for that. I am too foolish and proud and dull to know that my interest lies in saying Your name with love. But You have not torn the beads from my hands, not yet. Let me at least touch them, even if my mind does not worship. At least my fingers will touch the mala while my tongue speaks Your names over and over. If anything good comes of it,it is only by Your mercy.
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p.265
Prabhupada describes the paraklya-rasa as the topmost rasa. When it is perverted by the material world, it becomes abominable, but in the spiritual world, it is the highest form of love.I spoke a little about how anyone who is promiscuous in youth, but who later becomes chaste, always regrets those misspent times. We know that any sin committed can easily be forgiven by Krsna. But hearing Prabhupada explain that the paraklya-rasa is the topmost spiritual relationship— and in that rasa, Krsna relates to the gopis as para mours— has given me a realization. We have really polluted our minds, consciousness, and bodies by our promiscuity. Not only do we now have to struggle to forget the impressions of illicit sex-life, but we are contaminated in our attempts to understand this very fine, subtle rasa. Little did w e know how serious a reaction we were forming. Little did we know how difficult savoring this rasa would be come. If we could have only understood how contaminated our material heroes were— the ones in books, in movies, in our material friendships— where the man tries to play the role of Krsna with his many female companions. It is so regretful that we indulged our minds and bodies in irreligious sex-life, and it is so difficult now to crawl out of the material conception into the understanding of spiritual rasa.
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p.267
Spirit souls going to God. Even the beginner in Krsna consciousness can relate to this pastime— the fearless giving up of all other things in search of the Beloved. The gopis are not running through the forest with the idea of finding some personal sense gratification. They are going to give Him enjoyment, to serve Him in a way that He wishes to be served. Therefore, the gopis are the most highly qualified devotees of all— vraja-vadhu. Lord Caitanya praises their worship as the best of all.
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p.268
Words all culminate in the Hare Krsna mantra, when your own words rest and you call out to Krsna with pure intention to serve Him in words:
Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare/
Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.
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p.283-284
I would like to introduce some simple techniques for preparing to hear receptively and with concentration. I have been practicing these techniques myself for over two years, and I have introduced them to our little group of three or four who read Krsna book with me. These techniques help me to better hear the scripture, and to speak on itwith more clarity.
The first is relaxation of the body. I began this about five years ago in the attempt to reduce head ache pain. Although bodily relaxation cannot actu ally subdue a headache once it starts, it does help to prevent them. Aside from that, relaxation before study or prayer is now something I do automatically. I immediately notice the difference in my own mental state if I neglect this step— my attention is much less focused.
Bodily relaxation can take as much as five minutes or as little as five seconds. First, relax the ten sions in your body, one part at a time. After relaxation, or as a continuation of it, take a few deep breaths. I do not practice full-fledged yoga pranayama, but that is where this practice originates. Fill the lungs. Slowly and gently inhale, then exhale. Hold the breath in between. Deep breathing can change your mental state immediately from preoccupation with surface agitations to a deeper sense of the "other world." Sastra is another world, so ease into it.
I like to accompany my deep breathing and relaxation with vocalized expressions: "I am going to quiet down now, and by quieting the body, the mind will be quieted. We are going to hear krsna-katha from Sukadeva Gosvami. Prabhupada wanted us to do this, and he will be pleased."
These two— relaxation of the body part by part, followed by deep breathing— are sufficient. But I like to go two steps further. One is a method I learned when practicing to remember for Prabhupada Meditations. You notice the sounds, then touch sensations, then sight sensations. Right now I hear the leaves rustling and the distant highway. I say aloud, "I hear the leaves rustling and the highway." Then I notice what my body feels, "It is warm in the shack. I feel the weight of m y backside as I sit in the chair." And sight: "My eyes are closed. I see a darkness with yellow speckles." Or, "I see a young fir tree just outside the shack. It has horizontal lines on its bark and some stubs of broken branches." Doing this produces a kind of "tunnel vision" that helps me to concentrate on sravanam.
As a final act to induce favorable aural reception, I count down from ten to zero. I have been doing it with my friends lately, and saying, "I a m going down the stone steps of a ghat near a holy river. As Igo down,I have to give up my bodily designations and prepare to hear about Krsna. 10... 9... relax .. 8 ...Prabhupada wants me to hear about Krsna ... 7... he is inviting us..."
All these methods take me no more than five minutes, but it produces a gentle, altered state of consciousness and improves my hearing noticeably.
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p.288
Love between Krsna and the gopis isbeyond any psychological analysis. Although some scholars describe a man's love as equal to a woman's love in the conjugal relationship, they do not understand the love between Krsna and the gopis. Krsna says the love of the gopis is so much greater than His own love that He can never repay them. And Radharani's love for Krsna is the highest manifestation of love possible. The word "love," as we understand it, cannot capture either the essence or the intensity of Radharani's love. Therefore, we should not glibly say, "I know what krsna-prema means, it means love of God." Only the lover of Krsna really knows what it means to experience prema for Krsna.
Even in the beginning stage, though, love for Krsna acts on us in the same way it acted on the gopis: It nullifies our attachment to family and friends, to 20th Century sense gratification, and to mundane thought processes. Krsna sometimes appeared before the gopis and accepted their service, and sometimes He disappeared in order to allow them the bittersweet taste of separation. Separation increases love. Krsna gives us that taste too. Some times we think that Krsna does not reveal Himself more to us because we are so unqualified. If we think only of our unworthiness, we may become hopeless and defeated. Krsna deals with us loving ly; He works for our rectification and tries to stir our love for Him. He may do that by not appearing before us, just as He disappeared from the vision of the young Narada Muni.
To appreciate this, we have to follow Lord Caitanya's instruction: trnad api sunicena ...we have to have a humble state of mind. And we have to chant the holy name constantly. We cannot imitate the gopis; neither should we imagine ourselves in their places. We have to start by honestly assessing our position and then practice our sadhana under the direction of our guru in disciplic succession. Prabhupada writes that in the beginning, one is at tached to service. By laboring in devotional service, we begin to taste the love of doing that service for Krsna. From that, love of God develops.
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p.298
Be perfect— at least in following the four rules and chanting sixteen rounds (even if they are of poor quality). And regardless of whatever imperfections we have now, we should preach and help the other devotees.
Our worst faults can be consumed by the service of advising others. We are forced to practice Krsna consciousness if we are going to propagate it to others with any sincerity or effectiveness. And we are forced to participate in our own purification, forced to become "standard," not allowed to throw our selves out. Prabhupada has blessed us with the association of other struggling devotees, and he has blessed us with knowledge of the standard of perfection. We have to become perfect.
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p.300
My dear Lord Krsna, thank You for bodily health. Please let me use it in Your service. Let me advise others to do the same. Health is fleeting. Even the healthiest become decrepit in a relatively fewyears.Up until the end, let us serve You with our bodies.
And thank You, Lord, for the ability to communicate. Let us learn to always communicate Your glories. Let us fashion our words into plain, clear, parampara utterances. We can only do this by Your mercy, but You also want to see our efforts. The pewee birds peep, the crows caw harshly, a dump truck crashes its load of rocks to the ground— and we humans can make a thoughtful speech for sanity and peace and Krsna consciousness. Please help us to use speech until it is time to stop. No Mayavadi silence. No speculation. No hurting others.
And thank You for allowing us to think of You. The mind is meant for that. We have so misused this faculty that it is now quite out of control. We please beg for special mercy. It is nearly impossible, Lord, to control the raging mind. Please create a miracle— enable us to control our minds. The pure mind of a pure devotee is like a clear pool after the rains. May we worship the mental control of the pure devotees and learn how they do it bit by bit. Body, mind and words in Your service, that is our desire.
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p.303
Process means there is no final product as distinct from process itself. As Srila Prabhupada said, "Chanting produces chanting." The beginning stage of bhakti is a mango (unripe), and the later stage is a ripe mango.
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p.304

Reading "Description of the Rasa Dance." (chapter within Krsna Book) Such a shower of metaphors! In the Caitanya-caritamrta, Ramananda Raya says, "Unless one can speak with metaphor, he cannot understand the pastimes of Radha-Krsna." A devotee is poetic, and the real perfection of poetry is to describe the pastimes of Krsna and the gopls.
Prabhupada tells us that the acaryas had to use metaphors because they were trying to describe things that were inconceivable in this world. It is impossible to appreciate spiritual beauty with mundane eyes, but the acaryas tried to give us the eyes to see spirit by the use of metaphor.
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p.309
Devotion for Its Own Sake
The gopis discovered the greatest reward for devotional service: To be satisfied with their own acts of loving service to Krsna. Anything else Krsna could give them would be less valuable than this reward. This open secret is known only to the gopis and their followers, and Krsna suggests we follow their path.
I can consider this point in my writing practice. Srila Prabhupada told us we write for our own purification. Get permission to write, and then don't be anxious to see it published. All your desires will be fulfilled by writing sincerely in devotional service.
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